Golf Made Simple Blog

You Know You’re A Monkey If You

Start each statement with: You know you’re a Monkey if you –

Are trying to decide which would be better for you a 9 degree or 10 degree Driver

Explanation – One degree isn’t going to make a noticeable difference. Yes, maybe if you’re clubhead speed is 120 mph and you hit the ball so solid that the difference between your worst drive (270 yards) and your best drive (290 yards) is only twenty yards, you might spend more than a few shots deciding. But, the average male swings at 85 mph (Female – 70 mph) and the difference between your worst drive (140 yards) and your best drive (250 yards) is too inconsistent to have one degree make a difference.

You’d be better off spending time making a decision on whether to buy the 52 or 54 or 56 or 58 degree sand wedge for around the green.

Questioned a decision of a Tour Player to play a certain club or shot in a tournament

Explanation – They’re the best in the world and you’re not. A very bad round for them is 74. They can’t remember the last time they shot 84. Questioning a Tour Player’s decision is like questioning a quarterback in the NFL for throwing a bad pass with two 6 foot 5 inch, 275 pound defensive lineman that run 40 yards in under 5 seconds in his face trying to hurt him so bad that they make him cry.

Unless you’ve ever been a Player on that level and in the situation they’re in – you have know idea! Besides, how many times in the last year have you hit a 3-wood off the fairway from 235-yards for your second shot and ended up making a 7 on the hole? How many times have you done that in one round?

You know you’re a Monkey if you –

Ever practiced rolling your wrists (or forearms) through impact to square (straighten-up) the club face

Explanation – if you tried this technique to hit the ball straighter, you probably found that it worked for a little while. A little while meaning a few rounds. See, this is thought of as the easiest compensation to help a Golfer stop their slice. And it does make sense. If you roll your wrists, it almost prevents you from slicing the golf ball. That is until you start to roll too soon and the ball hooks. And then you try to slow your roll down a little not to hook and then on your next shot you slice again. Then you speed-up your roll on your next and hook it. And then slow the roll on your next and ….. Rolling is a Compensation and Compensation equals Inconsistency!

Hence – if you’re Consistently Inconsistent, you probably have many Compensations in your swing.

Have mastered the rolling of your wrists because you’ve hit a few thousand balls focused on doing it – but now you can’t stop hooking the ball

Explanation – so now the Pro tells you that you’re releasing the club too soon and that you need to hold the angle through impact. So you get some drills to not let you wrists come through at impact. And you try it over and over again. Except something happens that we all hate – you start to hit the golf ball about 30-yards shorter. So you go back to the Pro and he/she says – “Keep doing it and remember your going to get worse before you get better”. So you go to another Pro and that Pro says that the problem with your swing is that you’re not releasing your wrists through the ball and gives you drills that get you to release your hands better – along with some very important advice that makes them feel as if they’re a Swing Guru by saying it:

“Do this for a while because you’ll probably get worse before you get better. And then give me a call for your next lesson”.

You want to stop being Inconsistent – simple – stop using Compensations to correct your slice! Find your Swing, not your Pro’s Swing!

You know you’re a Monkey if you –

Grab a fast hot dog at the turn between the front 9 and back 9

Explanation – What are you thinking? Why not a banana? Or an apple? Or a Powerbar? First, you’re running in as fast as you can to place your order, then you have to pay, put on the mustard (and if you’re a hungry Monkey, some relish), decide on your drink, eat the hot dog using one hand as you hold your change in the other as you squeeze your can of Diet Coke between your elbow and belly. And as you’re teeing up your golf ball on the 10th tee, you’re still chewing. No wonder half the time you top your drive down the fairway. If you ever been to a Tour Event, you see them eating apples, bananas, Powerbars and drinking water or Gatorade.

And the only thing worse than starting your back 9 off with a triple bogey is playing golf with a Monkey who has hot dog breath for the next 2 hours! Eat an apple and make more friends, along with staying more mentally in the game through the back nine.

Believe the brush tee will help you to hit the golf ball farther

Explanation – Please, don’t get me started on this one!

You know you’re a Monkey if you –

Say that you can feel the difference between forged and cast irons

Explanation – there was a test done a couple years ago where they had 0 handicaps, 10 handicaps and 20 handicaps hitting balls using forged and cast clubs. The kicker was that they weren’t told which was which.

Guess what? No one was able to tell the difference based on how the ball felt coming off the clubhead. So when you’re looking for new irons, don’t base your decision on what other Monkeys tell you. Hit 4 or 5 or 6 different irons and make your decision based on what gave you the best results – regardless of brand, cast or forged, what the salesman is telling you or what you have read in the golf magazine equipment test. Players buy what is correct for them, not what the Monkeys say are the best.

Have said this is the worst I’ve ever played

Explanation – I believe we spoke about this a few weeks ago.

You know you’re a Monkey if you –

Have ever gone for help with your golf game and spent most of your time on your cell phone

Explanation – No explanation needed. If you need an explanation, please don’t sign-up for Golf Made Simple.

You know you’re a Monkey if you –

Read and got excited about using this tip in Golf Magazine the next chance you had to use it – “In Florida, Bermuda grass goes dormant for the winter and is oversedded with rye grass to maintain it’s green appearance. Rye Grass has a different feel and contact when hitting irons off the fairway so you should play your ball back a little farther in you stance to compensate for softer turf”

Explanation – Well, yes – in Florida the Bermuda does go dormant in the winter. And yes, we overseed with Rye Grass to keep the courses green. That much is true. But, the rest of the tip – You’ve got to be kidding me. A PGA Professional actually said this? He should have all his certifications revoked!

If you hit the ball first before you hit the ground – it doesn’t matter what type of grass you’re hitting off of. This is a prime example of a Monkey Professional! Along with the main reason I turn all requests from the Golf Magazines to insert tips for publication – Please, please do not lump us in with these quacks!

Haven’t taken at least one Yoga or Pilates class or haven’t been to the gym in last 6 months – but, yet you want to hit the ball better

Explanation – Every Player in the top 10 of each Professional Tour is doing something to help them become stronger and flexible. Why? Because what you put into this game – you get out. How much have you put in off the golf course? Would Tiger be #1 if he didn’t do Pilates or lift weights to work on his core? No! Would Annika be #1 if she didn’t do 1,000 sit-ups a day in addition to her Pilates? No!

Go to one Yoga class and I guarantee that you’ll feel a difference in your golf swing immediately. Meaning the very next time you swing a golf club. And then maybe I’ll forgive you for your Hot Dog between nines last August.

You know you’re a Monkey if you –

Say – “none of this applies to me”

Explanation – The Golfer that wants to become a Player will read this list again and think how it applies to their game. And then most importantly do something about it. They might just look in the Yellow Pages for a Yoga or Pilates Studio – call and sign-up for one class. The Monkey will say that this stuff is ridiculous, cancel their subscription to Golf Improvement Weekly and then go find a Sabrett stand.

You know you’re a Player if you –

Make a commitment to your game.

Be a Player!

Regards,

Marc Solomon – Your Instructor For Life
Golf Made Simple!

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